jessica
Hello everyone, my name is jessica, im 19 years old and just confirmed with my doctor that im about 5-6 weeks pregnant, with my boyfriend (of 6months) who is 21, we defiantly did not plan on having a baby and now were very undecided on what to do, my boyfriend is great, and i really feel like we have a special bond and i can defiantly see myself marrying him in the future, but then again, you never know what will happen right? and i just want to make the best decision for MYSELF and the BABY. i dont know how i feel about abortion and i only have less than a month to decide if thats what ill be doing, my boyfriend doesnt want me to have an abortion and is kind of happy about the news (after the stress and the tears) we both are very undecided how we feel about abortion, to us we feel as though we are ending a potential beautiful life, but if thats the best thing for the baby we are willing to do such, adoption has crossed our mind but we think itll be too hard to give up the baby once its born. my boyfriend and i are both good, loving and caring with extremly supportive parents (with either decision) together we make about 1,400$ a month, so we know very well we need our parents support, which we feel very bad about but our parents will definatly be there for us emotionally/finincially and to help with the baby as much as possible(like babysitting) .. I just wanted to get opinions from people who dont know me and have been in a similar situation. I am only 19years old and had plans of going back to university, with a baby i know my life will be put on hold. What should i do? Im open to abortion if thatll be the best thing for myself and the child but am wondering if i can manage to take on motherhood, i have no doubt that ill be a great mom and that the baby will have a great dad, but i just would like some opinions from young mothers who have been there. is it possible? will my life be better or worse? opinions please!! thanks so much for your feedback. it really does help
Answer
I had a child out of wedlock when I was 24. When I applied to college I had a two year old, a five month old and I did not know that I was pregnant with my third child. I carried her through the semester and I gave birth to her in the Summer. In the Fall I felt like I would be setting myself up for failure if I went back to school with a newborn so I dropped out and reapplied in the Spring, it was the best decision for me. But I know other mothers who attend my same university who have given birth and gone right back to classes a week or two later because of financial aid issues and been very successful in their studies. You have no reason to feel shame or feel like a failure if you do drop out for a while. You need to do what is best for you to succeed. However this is a life, not a potential life. This is your son or daughter growing inside you. You have already said that you know it would be wrong to end it. And I know that you said that your boyfriend was quite happy about it. I am not going to lie to you. School is hard, school with kids is harder. I have many, many late nights and early mornings but I am getting there and I will graduate, just not on the timetable I had all planned out before I got pregnant. I feed a family of 5 on $27,000.00 a year in Missouri. It can be done. Take my advice because I am a woman who has done it. Your baby is best with you as a mother. Limit debt. Make only necessary purchases that meet your family's basic needs. If you can get by without a car or a second car because you can walk everywhere that you need to go or beg a ride from family and friends drop the extra car expenses. Learn how to bake, if you do not have access to a washer in your home cut down on laundrymat expenses by sloshing your sheets and blankets around in bathtub water and drip then dry over a door. Learn how to bake and do it all in one sitting so that you don't keep on using the energy that it takes to power your oven. Bake your own granola. Use cloth diapers and wipes on the weekends if you own a washer, unless the time savings is more important for your studies or job. Move in with another single mother or student mother and take turns watching each other's kids and split housing costs between the two of you to cut down on expenses.
Buy used not new. Yard sales cost less than thrift stores then dollar general and aldi and finally walmart. Check out craigslist for things that you need for the house or baby.
Your child's basic needs:
Your baby needs a safe place to travel (car-seat) stroller if you have to walk a long way (try a kids consignment store)
A roof over his or her head.
a place to sleep. Doctor's say not to co sleep, but especially women who are breastfeeding do. Our kids slept in a playpen with an outdoor cushion. No need to buy special blankets and sheets if it is large enough to tuck under securely it will do. A couple of layered T-shirts will keep the baby warm and prevent SIDS as well as a sleep sack does. I put my kids in flannel pillowcases because I got tired of them kicking their blankets off and it took up less room in the diaper bag. (Any bag works.)
Clothes. Look up "upcycled baby clothes" on pinterest.
Kids are just happy to be loved and really don't get into toys till they are older but are happy to stack your measuring cups and hit a pot with a wooden spoon. They need teething beads and some kids, but not all need pacifiers. I found playing womb sounds to help the baby sleep.
Food to eat. (I had no problems with pumping with a pump loaned from WIC between classes, storing the milk in a lunch box with a homemade ice pack in old jelly jars). a blender makes baby food just fine and you can save it in the fridge or freeze it. My kids used the tip of a regular spoon. My youngest would not drink out of a bottle from the time she was 6 months old she would drink from a sippy cup while I was not there.
You do qualify for WIC, look at it as financial aid. WIC will give you all the food that your child needs up to one year and it is supplemental till 5 years, and will feed you extra during your pregnancy. Medicare will pay for the pregnancy birth and postpartum visits and cover your child. Since you are 19 you can be covered too.
Shop and prep crock pot meals every two weeks or even 10 days to cut down on fast food and wasted time. Record your lectures because you won't necessarily have time to read notes and you can't succeed as a mom without completing your research projects ahead of time because you never know when your baby will be sick or need you. Get your books in recorded or kindle format because breastpumps are bulky. Borrow books from friends or the school library, and then compare all rental, bookstore and online retailers before purchasing this can save you thousands.
I had a child out of wedlock when I was 24. When I applied to college I had a two year old, a five month old and I did not know that I was pregnant with my third child. I carried her through the semester and I gave birth to her in the Summer. In the Fall I felt like I would be setting myself up for failure if I went back to school with a newborn so I dropped out and reapplied in the Spring, it was the best decision for me. But I know other mothers who attend my same university who have given birth and gone right back to classes a week or two later because of financial aid issues and been very successful in their studies. You have no reason to feel shame or feel like a failure if you do drop out for a while. You need to do what is best for you to succeed. However this is a life, not a potential life. This is your son or daughter growing inside you. You have already said that you know it would be wrong to end it. And I know that you said that your boyfriend was quite happy about it. I am not going to lie to you. School is hard, school with kids is harder. I have many, many late nights and early mornings but I am getting there and I will graduate, just not on the timetable I had all planned out before I got pregnant. I feed a family of 5 on $27,000.00 a year in Missouri. It can be done. Take my advice because I am a woman who has done it. Your baby is best with you as a mother. Limit debt. Make only necessary purchases that meet your family's basic needs. If you can get by without a car or a second car because you can walk everywhere that you need to go or beg a ride from family and friends drop the extra car expenses. Learn how to bake, if you do not have access to a washer in your home cut down on laundrymat expenses by sloshing your sheets and blankets around in bathtub water and drip then dry over a door. Learn how to bake and do it all in one sitting so that you don't keep on using the energy that it takes to power your oven. Bake your own granola. Use cloth diapers and wipes on the weekends if you own a washer, unless the time savings is more important for your studies or job. Move in with another single mother or student mother and take turns watching each other's kids and split housing costs between the two of you to cut down on expenses.
Buy used not new. Yard sales cost less than thrift stores then dollar general and aldi and finally walmart. Check out craigslist for things that you need for the house or baby.
Your child's basic needs:
Your baby needs a safe place to travel (car-seat) stroller if you have to walk a long way (try a kids consignment store)
A roof over his or her head.
a place to sleep. Doctor's say not to co sleep, but especially women who are breastfeeding do. Our kids slept in a playpen with an outdoor cushion. No need to buy special blankets and sheets if it is large enough to tuck under securely it will do. A couple of layered T-shirts will keep the baby warm and prevent SIDS as well as a sleep sack does. I put my kids in flannel pillowcases because I got tired of them kicking their blankets off and it took up less room in the diaper bag. (Any bag works.)
Clothes. Look up "upcycled baby clothes" on pinterest.
Kids are just happy to be loved and really don't get into toys till they are older but are happy to stack your measuring cups and hit a pot with a wooden spoon. They need teething beads and some kids, but not all need pacifiers. I found playing womb sounds to help the baby sleep.
Food to eat. (I had no problems with pumping with a pump loaned from WIC between classes, storing the milk in a lunch box with a homemade ice pack in old jelly jars). a blender makes baby food just fine and you can save it in the fridge or freeze it. My kids used the tip of a regular spoon. My youngest would not drink out of a bottle from the time she was 6 months old she would drink from a sippy cup while I was not there.
You do qualify for WIC, look at it as financial aid. WIC will give you all the food that your child needs up to one year and it is supplemental till 5 years, and will feed you extra during your pregnancy. Medicare will pay for the pregnancy birth and postpartum visits and cover your child. Since you are 19 you can be covered too.
Shop and prep crock pot meals every two weeks or even 10 days to cut down on fast food and wasted time. Record your lectures because you won't necessarily have time to read notes and you can't succeed as a mom without completing your research projects ahead of time because you never know when your baby will be sick or need you. Get your books in recorded or kindle format because breastpumps are bulky. Borrow books from friends or the school library, and then compare all rental, bookstore and online retailers before purchasing this can save you thousands.
What are some good fundraising ideas for a small group of kids?
Lora
We are a church youth group planning on going to Oaxaca, Mexico to work on building a school. Its VERY important to us. We need to raise approx. 1000 per kid. If you have and ideas on fundraising events, or and businesses that may be willing to sponsor us. Please, let me know.
Answer
My son's French club raised $1,066 per student for a trip to Quebec City by selling 6-inch hoagies (subs) for $3.50 each. The sales were phenomenal. Nearly everyone asked was happy to purchase a sandwich. At $3.50, this was something affordable to all. On the day the sandwiches were to be distributed, the students gathered in the school cafeteria to make them assembly-line style, which took only 2-3 hours. This is one of the most successful fundraisers we have ever participated in.
Another popular fundraiser is a cookbook sale. Perhaps the women of your church could help in soliciting and gathering recipes, with an equal amount from total sales being deposited in each child's account. This would also work well for church bake sales, quilt raffles, rummage sales, spaghetti dinners, etc.
The members of a local church are often seen in front of our Walmart selling bags of various flavored Tootsie Rolls for $2 each. They do this each year, to fund trips to South America.
Another successful fundraiser in our area has been the ever-popular candy bar sales through a local candy maker. Ask at your school for the names of the candy salesmen they use. We also have a pizza shop that participates in $5 cheese pizza sales, as well as a convenience store that offers coupons for a sandwich, chips and drink for $5. As with the hoagie sales, these are enormously popular. Check with the pizza shops and convenience stores in your area to see if they offer similar fundraising opportunities.
Last but not least, a local public school teacher found her calling in Uganda, where she eventually settled to set up an orphanage. Through the generous donations of the students who deposited the change from their lunch money into a jar each day, an orphanage, clinic, and school were built and furnished in just over three years. Where there's a will...
It is my hope that you are able to utilize some of these ideas. Good luck to you and your group.
My son's French club raised $1,066 per student for a trip to Quebec City by selling 6-inch hoagies (subs) for $3.50 each. The sales were phenomenal. Nearly everyone asked was happy to purchase a sandwich. At $3.50, this was something affordable to all. On the day the sandwiches were to be distributed, the students gathered in the school cafeteria to make them assembly-line style, which took only 2-3 hours. This is one of the most successful fundraisers we have ever participated in.
Another popular fundraiser is a cookbook sale. Perhaps the women of your church could help in soliciting and gathering recipes, with an equal amount from total sales being deposited in each child's account. This would also work well for church bake sales, quilt raffles, rummage sales, spaghetti dinners, etc.
The members of a local church are often seen in front of our Walmart selling bags of various flavored Tootsie Rolls for $2 each. They do this each year, to fund trips to South America.
Another successful fundraiser in our area has been the ever-popular candy bar sales through a local candy maker. Ask at your school for the names of the candy salesmen they use. We also have a pizza shop that participates in $5 cheese pizza sales, as well as a convenience store that offers coupons for a sandwich, chips and drink for $5. As with the hoagie sales, these are enormously popular. Check with the pizza shops and convenience stores in your area to see if they offer similar fundraising opportunities.
Last but not least, a local public school teacher found her calling in Uganda, where she eventually settled to set up an orphanage. Through the generous donations of the students who deposited the change from their lunch money into a jar each day, an orphanage, clinic, and school were built and furnished in just over three years. Where there's a will...
It is my hope that you are able to utilize some of these ideas. Good luck to you and your group.
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